This was originally posted in September of 2011 and almost 2 years later, I realize that I’ll probably always need this particular reminder (to stop whining). In the upcoming weeks, I’ll be reposting some of my favorite blog posts from my earlier days of blogging (because I’m such a seasoned blogger now ) for some of my newer readers, as well as for those who have been with me since the beginning. Thanks to both groups for reading!
I am pretty tired these days.
You know the kind of tired where you feel physically ill because you’re so exhausted? That’s how I’ve felt lately.
Having sick kids for the last 3 weeks and getting sleep schedules all “off” is what has done it to me. Whew!
I didn’t realize I was being an internal whiner about my exhaustion, though. I really didn’t. However, I now realize I have been just that.
A week ago, I was talking with some friends about the kids being sick and made the comment that I’m pretty sure I had “put in my time” and that we should now be good to go for the winter (with good health). I know that’s not true, but I just wanted to believe it just for a few minutes to make myself feel better. The husband remarked that there is no such thing as “putting in your time” when it comes to sick kids and I told him that I realized that, but just wanted to live in my world of delusion just a bit longer. And then it hit me …
I have been whining in my head about my kids’ sickness and subsequent lack of sleep. I have been waiting for a full night of sleep because then things would “be all right.” If I could just have more sleep, I would be motivated to get things done around the house, I would be more patient with the kids, and I would enjoy being a mother more overall right now (you moms know that it can be challenging when you’re sleep-deprived to find as much joy as you want to in being a mom). But, you know what? It could be weeks more before I get that full night’s sleep … I really can’t wait for that night to come before I do the things that I need to do and be the kind of wife/mom/person I want to be and was created by God to be.
I need to stop whining.
I need to move forward and live. If I spent the time I spend focused on myself and how tired I am doing the things that need to be done and that are the most important, then my house would be in better shape and I would be loving my kids and husband better (the 2 things that are way more important than the house anyway … however, having a picked-up house is a little piece of sanity for me!). I do really believe that God can give the grace needed to do the things that I need to be doing each day (according to Him rather than according to me). Now I have to live like I believe it rather than waiting for that perfect night of sleep (which I’m pretty sure may not come for years now that I have small children) or depending on my own strength to pull myself through.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think it’s wrong to admit that I’m tired. I don’t think it’s wrong to take naps and try to catch up on sleep when I can. However, I don’t want to be a whiner about my tiredness, either internally or out-loud. I really do desire to try to live life fully in spite of whatever circumstances I find myself in.
How about you? Have you been a whiner lately?