My job review
Note: The following is not a commentary on whether or not one should be a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home. It is simply me sharing the journey I am on in the job I am currently called to as a stay-at-home mom and homemaker.
I’m pretty sure if I was to have a job review of my current job, I would receive a decent amount of constructive criticism in areas that “need improvement.”
I’m talking about my job as a mom and homemaker. The thing is that I, in some respects, have never considered that as my “job.” I have considered them my “calling” or my “ministry,”which I believe they are, but … my job? Well, I probably considered being a mom a job, but not really the whole homemaking aspect of things. And really, isn’t it hard to think of those 2 things as jobs when they really don’t fit within the paradigm of any other job you’ve ever had?
And yet, I’ve come to realize, both motherhood and homemaking are currently my primary jobs. And while there are many ways in which I simply can’t view my current responsibilities through the same lens I would view other jobs, not viewing them as a job has been to my and my family’s detriment.
You see, lately I have been struggling with lack of joy in being a mom and keeping our home. I feel discouraged and harried often. I feel as though I’m always two steps behind and that I can never catch up. I have been praying about this, asking God to reveal what on earth is going on … is it because I have 2 young, very active kiddos? Are there some heart issues or mindsets that need to change? Do I need to structure my days differently than I have been (or haven’t been)? It’s very likely that I can answer ‘yes’ to all 3 of these questions, but the one God is choosing to address first is that of my mindset toward being a mom and homemaker.
Because I haven’t seriously viewed these roles as my job, I haven’t approached my responsibilities like they are job responsibilities. Recently however, I realized that if I acted the way I sometimes do within my current job in a job outside of the home, I would definitely get some poor marks on my review. The comments would probably include word such as, unorganized, unstructured, and undisciplined, to name a few. In my former jobs as a registered nurse, would I dare fly by the seat of my pants in my day-to-day responsibilities as I often do as a mom and homemaker? Would I decide not to do certain responsibilities because I just didn’t feel like it? Would I at times do the bare minimum just to “get by?” No (at least not most of the time)! I wouldn’t because, if I did, I would affect others, both my coworkers and patients, in harmful (and even fatal) ways. I would create a stressful atmosphere for all around me. I would, quite honestly, possibly get fired if I continued to work in such a manner.
So, why is it ok for me to approach my current job in a way I would never approach a job outside the home? (gulp)
It’s not. There’s just as much, if not more, at stake.
And so I embark on some really big changes in my job; in mindset and heart attitudes, in organization, and in discipline. And it’s going to take awhile, because there are a lot of areas to work on, something that is not all that easy for a, “Oh, something needs to be changed? Let’s change it completely right now,” kind of girl like myself. But, by God’s grace, I will make small changes. And then more small changes. Oh, and I know I’ll fail and fall off the bandwagon at times.
However, I know it will be incredibly worth it … especially as I seek to raise my kids in a Godly manner and to create a home in which all who live here (including me), as well as others who come in, can rest and thrive. So, let the journey begin!
– Dawn, Mom and Home-manager