Writing for questionable reasons
I really do love to write. And I really do love to encourage others. And I really did feel God leading me to begin this blog, with the general intent (amidst a few specific intents) of encouraging others in the “daily roadtrip” they are on.
(In case you’re wondering – no, I am not “quitting” this blog.)
But isn’t it so easy to begin something you know you are supposed to be doing only to, at some point, have the reasons behind doing it become somewhat muddled? That’s what has happened with this blog. Last September, I started it up and was very excited about having a place to write that would hopefully encourage whoever would choose to follow it (or even read one single post). Somewhere along the way, though, I started to pay attention to a particular page that is “behind the scenes” and only available to me. Ah yes, the old “stats” page. Did you know that I can track how many times each particular post of my blog is clicked on each day? That I can see how many readers came through Facebook, through other peoples’ blogs, or by using a search engine such as Google? That I can now even see which country my readers are clicking onto my blog from? I’m serious, people! But don’t worry – I promise that the stats page does not tell me specific names of those who have visited my blog. 😉 At first, it was just really cool to see how many clicks each page got – I was encouraged as the number of visits to my blog grew. But then, something changed and I almost became driven by the stats. With each blog post, I would check to see how many people visited the post and try to figure out the whys behind it all. What? Only 27 clicks on that post? I thought that was a great one! I really poured my heart out in it! I would think. Or, Huh? How come that particular post drew in that amount of visitors? What did they seem to really enjoy in that particular one? I also began to be tempted to write only the type of content that seemed to be the most enjoyed (at least the most frequented) instead of simply writing what was on my heart and in my mind at the time; what I felt God was really leading me to write. I began to feel pressure that I just “had” to write posts 2-3 times per week because otherwise, I felt that my readership would surely drop off.
Ugh. As you may guess, with all of those factors in play, writing, for the most part, ceases to be enjoyable. And after thinking about it more, I have realized that my motives for writing have become a bit cloudy; that I need to revisit the original reason I felt compelled to begin writing in the first place. I don’t want to play the “stats game.” I don’t want to worry about cranking out a certain number of posts per week at the expense of my family and other responsibilities. I want to be led by God on what I write. I want to trust Him that He will guide those who may be encouraged by particular posts to visit the blog. And I want to write for the pure enjoyment of writing and encourage for the pure joy that I receive from encouraging others. So, by God’s grace, that is what I will do. This means that some weeks I may not write at all, while other weeks, I may write 4 times. I may write about silly things, or I may write about struggles and difficult things. Either way, I’m hoping my writing will consistently come from a deep place of knowing that I am supposed to be writing about each particular topic (or no topic at all?).
Because I really do desire to write not for questionable reasons, but for the right ones.